One of the best years of my life was while doing a rotation in graduate school during which I worked with people 65+ years old. Seriously, I loved it!
Recently, I was reminded how much I love this age group when a 72 year old lady chased me down in public and said , “Hey, you young man… Are you Dr Brazier? ” I responded, ” it depends.” She went on to tell me that she attended a presentation of mine last year. During that presentation I was teaching Small Steps and Motivating Motivation. Someone posed the question about tackling a super messy house. I discussed the idea to stop putting pressure to clean your whole house. Start with one room in one corner and move one thing. This 72 year old lady named Jean (she gave me permission to share her name) told me she thought that was the dumbest thing she ever heard and wanted to prove me wrong. She then wrapped her arms and around me and said her house is totally clean now and her family actually visits!!!
I asked Jean what happened and what worked. She said she literally moved a few pieces of mail off her table and then kept cleaning her table for 2 minutes a day for a few days. Then she kept setting the small goal to spend 5 minutes on cleaning small portions of her house.
Man, that does sound ridiculous. Sometimes we look for the big things we need to change to bring about huge outcomes. Let this wise lady teach us through her example … It’s the small and simple things!
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“I am scared to try again because last time I lost 60 lbs and gained back 70 lbs.”
This is a common theme that I hear. My response is, “Well don’t try it again. Diets are not the answer and welcome to the over 90% of the population of people who’ve tried to diet. Let’s not diet. Let’s create an exciting LIFESTYLE and see what happens!”
It’s so scary thinking about the changes we have to make to lose weight. Well, what if we stop focusing on weight. Focusing on weight is just one (usually ineffective) way to measure health. Sure, we want the excess weight off of us but focusing on that will not be the best approach to a healthy lifestyle. Losing weight will be a byproduct of your lifestyle transformation. You cannot change your lifestyle too quickly, which is a huge turn off to many of us. However, if you work slowly and wisely while demonstrating grit, you will reach your goals…. You will have energy and unrestricted mobility!
The first step to overcoming this fear of trying again is finding what YOU want. Not what you should do, or what a diet tells you you shouldn’t do; rather, what do you DESIRE! Shift away from weight goals for now. Do you want to be more mobile for your grandchildren? Do you want to have more energy while at work? Do you want to feel less bloated? Do you want to prevent Type II Diabetes? Do you want to feel more confident about your body? It could be so much more. Just remember… Not is not a goal!
You can use the following exercise to start to shift your thinking to what you do want:
- Get a clean sheet of paper, or open document on your computer/tab.
- Simply write down, “Why do I want to change my lifestyle?”
- Do free-association writing. Just write down whatever comes to you mind for at least 5 minutes. This is a way to let your subcortical brain start to manifest your true desires.
- Be kind. While writing just allow the words to flow. You do not need to care if it makes sense at all. Just keep writing and writing. It could go way off topic. Just see what happens.
- After you’ve been writing for at least 5 minutes you can stop at anytime. Just put the paper down and you don’t have to touch it for now.
- Come back one day later and repeat steps 2-6.
- Give it 24 more hours and re-read what you have written. Pay attention to any other thoughts that have come up over the past 3 days and see what you notice. Any themes? Any answers?
- Get a clean paper/screen and write down “I want to change my lifestyle because (insert your answer).
Keep this answer in a place where you can see regularly. Look at it daily. Then when you feel like that fear of trying again is lowered you can choose one small step to take!
Don’t let fears drive your life! Take control and empower yourself one moment at a time.
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Photo Cred: Eric Sonstroem (Flickr)
We all live in a world that has us stretched thin… So, who has time for new goals and activities? You do! First, the goal has to mean something to YOU! Goals are what you want, not what you should do. Goals are what YOU desire to do, not what others desire of you. So, let’s talk about this one principle to get you started on a new goal…
I like to call it the Piggyback Principle. If you are wanting to add 5 minutes of meditation in to your daily routine try adding it in before, during, or after a meal. Or, before or after your commute. You can take 5 minutes and park your car down the street before pulling up to your home. There are so many activities during the day that we can piggyback our new goals on to. New behaviors seem much easier when they flow with our already current hectic schedule!
I challenge you to just start with one new small thing you want to start doing. Look at you’re already set routine and see where you can piggyback on the new behavior!
I’d love to hear what you are going to piggyback your new goal to! Comment below or let me know on facebook
It’s nice to be comfortable. However, becoming comfortable in uncomfortable situations is a much more fulfilling way to live life.
If we are okay with feeling uncomfortable we stop avoiding so much and begin engaging more. We learn more and live fully.
If you find yourself seeking comfort each day you might enjoy trying to focus more engaging in each situation and accepting ambiguity. After all, it is not uncertainty that’s the problem, it’s the reaction to uncertainty that stresses us.
Starting a goal with the phrase “my goal is to not…” is NOT a goal. It’s only stating what you want to avoid from your past. Again, we are about adding all the good and positive we can in your life.
- Instead, try ” I will…” Make a statement of what you are going to do or will do today!
- Stay away from the shoulds.
- Keep it simple.
- What ARE you going to do???
- It’s good to learn from the past but that does not mean focusing your efforts on just trying to avoid past habits. Look forward and create new habits that push you forward toward what you are becoming!
Photo Credit: Barta IV
Eighty percent of 10-year-old girls in the U.S. have been on a diet! Most often these diets are imposed by adults. I don’t think we do this because we dislike our young daughters. I think we do this because we do care. We are just misfocused. Nonetheless, we are teaching the young ladies to measure their self-worth by the wrong scale.
Kids don’t need to hear “don’t eat that because it will make you fat.” Instead, it’s good to educate what sugar does then teach what will really energize the body. In other words, a candy bar will give a burst of energy for short-term followed by a crash. While a piece of fruit will give more energy to play longer. If we break this down… It can be presented to a kid as your body will play harder and longer at the park today if we give it some good food! That’s much more helpful than “stop eating that because it will make you gain weight.”
Teaching kids to enjoy healthy food vs hate fat producing food makes so much more sense!
Want to learn more about Nutrition and Lifestyle for Kids? Join us for our workshop in the Denver, Colorado area on Friday, July 31st or join our mailing list so you will be one of the first to know when we come to your area!