Did you ever think you would be asked the question, ” Are GOALS holding your back?” Well, I am not going to try to convince you that goals are actually the barrier in our progress as humans. Goals are great! What is not great is rigidness in trying to achieve goals. What is not great is setting tons of goals with no plan. What is not great is hating the process of reaching a goal. So, what do I suggest… you might ask. Good question!
So many times I hear great people set very ambitious goals and a month later no progress has been made. Well, in all reality there is no true measurment of progress that they have set. Therefore, if there is no measurement of progress then it might be that some progress is being made but not reportable… ahhh frustrating, right? This is why new years resolutions are typically not obtained, we are avoiding benchmarks and micro goals.
There is a concept that I learned in undergrad called cognitive dissonance. Simply put… when your actions are not congruent with your thoughts there is dissonance. Well, dissonance can easily turn into guilt, sadness, depression, and so on. Thus, I am suggesting that goals can sometimes lead to dissonance that can lead to a big smack in the face with guilt. Not good!
Here is where I am going with this…
One day I was running at lunch. I had seen several people that day that were upset because they were not achieving what they wanted. Keep in mind, these are all pretty awesome people (as is all of us)! The goals were reasonable, but they just were not able to measure any progress. During my run I thought about what I have learned in my training and practice… a concept came very clear to me. I have tested this concept on a daily basis. I have encouraged clients and friends to give it a shot and received great feedback! Here it is…
I call it: TIA, which means Today I Am… Essentially, I am inviting people, myself included, to look at their goals and and transfer them into a TIA statement. So, I want to better my marriage by the end of the year is a goal of mine. Therefore, Today I Am showing my wife I care for her by leaving a note on the counter and looking for 3 small ways to serve her. Wow! She would love me 🙂 Notice I am not saying, “I should.” NOOOOO…. I am saying I am doing this TODAY! Instead of simply writing down a bunch of goals to reach in a few months, I encourage us to look at the big goals and literally make a daily plan of how you are moving towards that goal. In the end, this puts you in a position to experience less depression, anxiety, stress, worry, and guilt. You will better prioritize your life. You will make the most out of your day. Each day will be more meaningful. The TIA does not have to be big… make it small and you will be going in the direction that you value most!
Let me know how it goes!