Living a life full of obligations is overwhelming. I would even go as far as to say it is rather shallow. Sure, we have many duties in this life but it is imperative that we remember we choose our duties and it is up to you and I to enjoy those duties in life. Remember the saying, “choose what you love and love what you choose.” We get caught up in all of the things we HAVE to do and SHOULD do and we forget that we have any choice left. Sometimes our choices might be limited, but I would argue we still have choice in every situation. When we focus on everything we should be doing we give away our choice and we do thing only out of duty and obligation. Consequently, we do not do things because we love it and want it! Meaningful action and motivation seems to slip away and we are only doing things because we should. Our life is much more than this! If you are caught in this then let’s get you to a better spot today! We are going to do this with the acronym I created called “FLOW”…
Find what you love and love what you have loved! Sometimes we are doing things because we made it an obligation. Sometimes we do things because we have told ourselves we need to be doing this. Take a step back and ask what do you really need to be doing. Few things in life fit this category. If there is something that you used to love and no longer feel that excitement it does not necessarily mean the flame is gone. I challenge you to rekindle those old flames for things that brought you happiness. Think of what made you happy as a kiddo and play with that some. If you work hard to reignite an old flame for something and it is not working then find something that you want to do and not simply have to do. This is your life. Stop with the excuses, specifically cease with the idea that people will be mad at you if you choose to do other things with your life.
List what you ARE GOING TO DO! Typically, a “should” is followed by no action… just guilt! Part of transforming your “shoulds” into your Flow is actually putting it in your planner. If you cannot make time now for what you want to do then put it on your calendar for one month out and revisit it then, but write it down!!
Own what you do! “Shoulds” are typically what other people want/expect from you. This is your life, your agency to choose. Remember, choose what you love and love what you choose. If you are over-scheduled with tons of things stop complaining about it and FIND what you want to do.
Win each day! I completely believe you and I both can win each day. So, what exactly are we winning? You might be rolling your eyes thinking I am some idealistic weirdo…. just give me a sec 🙂 I think we can win at the “should” game. We can do this by first just noticing each time we “should” ourselves, then implement this FLOW strategy.
I know you can find your FLOW… all it take is starting. Catch yourself three times in one day and you will be well on your way!
Dr. Drew Brazier